dialogue on race continues jeffrey

Dialogue on race continues: Jeffrey Sparks responds

For those of you who don't read the comments on my blog, Jeffrey

Sparks, fiancee of murder victim Nicole DuFresne, responded to a draft

of my article "Race in America: DuFresne to Bell to Obama" Below I've

posted his response (my response to his response will come later

today.) Before you read it, I'd like to say thank you to Mr. Sparks

for his heartfelt and intelligent addition to the dialogue on race in

America. It is only through honest dialogue that we can begin to come

together.

"Race in America: DuFresne to Bell to Obama"

1 Comment - Show Original Post

Jeffrey R. Sparks said...

Jamil, Since my comment to Rudy Fleming quoted above has so offended

you, please let me apologize, and please allow me to offer

clarification. Because in that very emotional moment, I was not as

articulate as public scrutiny demands. First of all, this quote is out

of context. Immediately preceding this quote, I had related the story

of several black men recognizing me over the course of the last two

years, expressing their sympathies, and asking that I not project

Fleming's crime onto them. In each case I assured them that it would

never occur to me to do so. That is the truth. The only exception to

this is in the case of young black men who dress with the intent to

emulate a "gangsta" archetype, and travel in groups. The New York

Times quoted me as saying that I wanted to "change my way of thinking"

regarding this comment. But it's not a matter of thinking. It's a gut

reaction resulting from the greatest tragedy of my life. If Nicole had

had a hole the size of my fist blown through her chest by a

stereotypical Italian thug, with the thick gold chains and heavy

accent one may also encounter on the New York streets, I would have

the same gut reaction when seeing other guys who reminded me of him.

The same goes for any other stereotype with which you might choose to

fill in the blank. And I'd feel equally uncomfortable with any of

them. I don't want to have any such feelings. And again, it's not a

matter of intellectual, dogmatic, or moral choice. The reaction is

instinctual. But gun culture is part of street culture. If I'd taken

that more seriously and been suspect of a group of gangsteresque

youths the night Nicole was murdered, NOT because they were black, but

because gun culture is part of street culture, then perhaps things

might have turned out differently. I was so blind to such notions,

that I paid no attention whatsoever to a group of young men and women

approaching us on the sidewalk. The fact that the gang of young

urbanites who robbed and murdered a woman that night are black, is

incidental to the story. But it's a fact nonetheless. And I would

think that the vast majority of young black men, who do NOT own or

carry a gun, who are NOT violent in any way, would be angered when

another young black man helps to perpetuate the stereotype that you,

and they so rightly fear, by executing someone for no reason. The

African American men who have stopped me on the street to express

their heart felt sympathy to me, certainly have also expressed just

such frustration. Finally, I'd like to say that the points you make

above, are good points with which I agree. And it would seem that

belying all of those points, you have the righteous desire not to be

prejudged by people who do not have enough personal knowledge of you

to justify doing so. Yet without being there in court on Monday, nor

presumably reading the full transcript of my statement, you surmise

that you "see this comment for what it is, pure bigotry at the core of

this man, that he's been quietly self denying his entire life." Given

my personal life-long fight against racist attitudes, stemming from

childhood in the Bible Belt, on through marching with the Rainbow

Coalition against the KKK in high school, the inaccuracy of your

presumption gave me a good laugh. But the hypocrisy of it just makes

me sigh in frustration. Suffice it to say that race relations have

always been, and will likely remain, very complex issues. But I,

presumably like you, believe that such problems are most likely to be

bridged by having an ongoing, honest dialogue. I thank you for

allowing me to speak in your forum on this one. Kind Regards, Jeffrey