jeffrey b gardner

Jeffrey B. Gardner

I thought about catching ya'll up on Charlotte's feeding, but given

the date, I think that can wait until tomorrow.

Instead, I'd like to ask you all to remember my friend Jeff Gardner

who perished when the Twin Towers collapsed on 9/11/2001. I wish that

Charlotte had had a chance to know Jeff. They would have giggled a lot

together. At the very least, I hope she can lead a life that emulates

the life he led.

I share with you this essay that I originally posted on my LiveJournal

page last year:

Jeffrey B. Gardner died 6 years ago today when the World Trade Towers

collapsed. I had known Jeffrey for as long as I can remember, growing

up in the same town (Livingston NJ) and attending religious school at

B'nai Jeshurun together.

More than a boy I grew up with, Jeffrey was a dear friend throughout

my high school and college years. We were both socially conscious

teenagers and active in our temple youth group and in JFTY, the Jersey

Federation of Temple Youth.

Like all of the people who have signed his guest book, I can attest to

Jeffrey's special qualities--his goodness, kindness, wisdom, and sense

of fun. I can also recall his pride as he listened to his father sing

in the temple choir on the high holy days, his clear affection for his

siblings, and his love for his mother.

Jeffrey and I, along with 20 other Jewish teens, spent a special

summer together in 1982. As part of the JFTY Urban Mitzvah Corps, we

lived in a fraternity house at Rutgers (later Jeffrey's alma mater)

and volunteered for various organizations in the New Brunswick area.

We worked with the elderly, disadvantaged children, and the disabled.

In the evenings we studied and played, enriching our Judaism and

bonding as a group in a way that is immeasurable. Jeffrey lived his

Jewish values and he taught us how much fun (and mischief) we could

have within the limits of a moral, thoughtful life.

My father had a special place in his heart for Jeffrey. Not just

because they were in the same business, but because Jeffrey was

respectful, forthcoming, and friendly. In business, my father could

count on Jeffrey, just as I could count on him as a friend.

Since Jeffrey's death, I've learned that he continued to live those

values for the rest of his far-too-short life. He read the Christian

Bible and the Koran in order to understand other people's belief

systems. He volunteered with Habitat for Humanity throughout the

hemisphere. He worked hard at his career and prospered.

In his obituary, his sister Amy noted that he had a sun tatooed on his

ankle because "a good day was as bad as it got. " Jeffrey shone like

that sun. Even when we weren't in touch for a long time (we hadn't

spoken for about 3 years before his death), I felt his presence and

the mark that he made on my life.

On that perfect sunny September morning, a day eerily like today in

Chicaog, hatred hilled Jeffrey. The irony that intolerance killed a

soul who embodied tolerance is not lost on me.

I dedicate today to Jeffrey--as sad as I am for his loss, I strive to

live a life of which he would have been proud, to be tolerant and kind

and strong as a tribute to his memory.

Rest in peace, dear friend. You are indeed Z"L (Zichrono Livracha), of

blessed memory.